one: hell froze over.
two: the dimwit in the corner office that is using speakerphone at full volume, leaning back in his chair with hands behind head, yelling back at it, underlings gathered around to bear witness to his imagined brilliance and authority had better close the monkeyhugging door the next time he performs this spectacle or i will, as they say in england, go completely mental.
three: aha! there was no three! but we all knew that from the title.
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