this is so dumb

book review: steve jobs

2012-01-04T10:45:00.000-08:00

i'll get this over with quickly: don't buy the book.

at best, it offers a handful of interesting insights into some of the history of apple and the tech industry at large during steve's lifetime.

at worst, it is painfully redundant and starkly lacking any narrative quality. this book DESPERATELY needs some hardcore editing and a sober round of new input from all contributors now that el jobso has gone up the great glass staircase in the sky.

i wish you could return kindle editions...

RISE

2011-11-26T16:58:00.001-08:00

two 24"x48", spray paint on canvas. commissioned by dr. jennifer davenport. photo by brad wenner.

book review: robopocalypse

2011-10-20T13:32:00.000-07:00

pretty good book. BADLY overhyped. spielberg's gonna make a movie of it... that pretty much covers everything on this one.

RIP, steve jobs

2011-10-05T17:31:00.001-07:00

no kidding, my mom just called to see how i was doing about steve's death. the funny thing is, i think i'm a lot more upset than i'm willing to admit...

book review: ready player one

2011-10-04T12:11:00.000-07:00

Ready Player One is a really good book. maybe not Neuromancer good, but still a fun read. especially if you love plucky kids vs. megacorporations, video games and 80s nostalgia.

Jokes.com

Nick Swardson - 80s Parties

comedians.comedycentral.com

Nick Swardson

Nick Swardson's Pretend Time

Buy tickets to the New York Comedy Festival

best run ever

2011-08-11T22:28:00.001-07:00

last weekend

2011-08-11T10:44:00.000-07:00

the new ipad hotness

2011-08-03T13:02:00.000-07:00

stephanie vs coco

2011-08-01T22:23:00.000-07:00

mazda 3 review

2011-07-14T18:07:00.000-07:00

this weblog has long suffered in the purgatory known as "i-am-way-too-busy-to-post-stupid-crap-anywhere-other-than-facebook-land." so let's resurrect it with everybody's favorite: a rental car review!

last week i had to fly out for a press check on a sunday (boo!) and monday was my birthday (BOOOOOOOO!) but this car was my little birthday miracle. for starters, it was black. always nice to have something other than white, burgundy or gold. second, it was reasonably fast and handled mighty nicely.

but the vehicular icing on the birthday cake: BLUETOOTH HANDSFREE. i got to make telephone calls from the steering wheel and every time i got in the car it started playing MY music from MY phone.

i love the future.

5 out of 5 rental car stars.

andy ralph

2011-04-09T11:11:00.000-07:00

my homeboy andy had a rad piece called Trash Clan in the 2010 OCMA biennial:

Andy Ralph Trash Clan OCMA 2010 Biennial from Charles Bergquist on Vimeo.

he's also in a rad band with his rad brother, jaime:

<a href="http://writertheband.bandcamp.com/album/miss-mermaid-7in">Miss Mermaid (7in) by Writer</a>

rad.

analogue pro tip

2011-04-08T18:24:00.000-07:00

in spite of the 31,330 songs by the 2,909 artists stored in my itunes library, i've been playing a lot of vinyl while i work on projects at home.

having to get up to flip and/or change the records often brings some new perspective when i get back to the work at hand. plus, my butt doesn't fall asleep as much.

it can get tricky if paint is involved in the project, but it's still worth it.

numerology

2011-04-05T20:52:00.001-07:00

finished my run tonight:

and noticed the new billboard on my building:

COINCIDENCE???

yes, definitely.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, STEPHANIE

2011-03-16T10:38:00.000-07:00

been making out for 15 years, married for nine. i love you, stephanie.

RIP hubba hideout

2011-01-27T13:05:00.001-08:00

hubba hideout is being torn down. it was one of those spots i would go to in high school and vibe out while i watched the big kids skate and hope some pro would show up to shoot a spread for thrasher or transworld or something.

i saw a dude asking the construction crew for pieces of debris he could take home. they hooked him up with a couple chunks of concrete.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2011-01-02T23:46:00.001-08:00

karaoke:

das boot:

festive be@rbrick:

clarke x wylie bespoke shirt:

signs point to yes:

toilet angel:

the following morning:

also, i lost a bet:

nerdy christmas

2010-12-25T21:30:00.001-08:00

lootpack:

kinect for xbox 360

crystal skull bottle stopper and stainless steel sharpie

best of all: lego space shuttle

kei car

2010-12-14T20:35:00.000-08:00

japan is so rad.

happy holidays

2010-12-11T08:08:00.000-08:00

last train home

2010-12-10T14:05:00.001-08:00

NOTICE:

2010-11-16T14:02:00.000-08:00

let's review several interesting signs posted near my office.

toyota corolla review

2010-11-13T11:59:00.000-08:00

not much to report on this car, it accelerated and handled fairly well for a rental car with over 30,000 miles logged. the best thing about it was the black paintjob; muuuuuch better than driving a goofy white car AND it was right after the raiders beat the chiefs, so being in a black car just felt "right."

the second best thing about it was when, while rocking out to some Poison on the radio, i managed to punch the shifter knob into neutral. it took a moment for me to realize the sudden, hideous screaming noise outside was being caused by my mashing the gas pedal to the floor while the transmission was completely disengaged...

three out of five stars, yo.

four lions

2010-11-09T19:16:00.000-08:00

four lions is a monumentally funny movie about terrorists in britain by chris morris. it's also a poignant commentary on contemporary society's obsession with and complete mismanagement of security.

more info in this nice boing boing interview of mr. morris.

the party's over

2010-11-02T16:21:00.000-07:00

portland part two

2010-09-04T10:10:00.000-07:00

digital sightseeing...

amazing...
portland part one.

portland part one

2010-09-02T18:06:00.000-07:00

i'm actually in harrisburg, PA right now, all the following photos are from last weekend, but i have to tell you this first:

as i was going through security, a TSA guy admired my nike dunk high AC world cup netherlands shoes (big up, jayro). these things are basically safety cone orange and still bright as day since i've only had them one week... long story, short: the dude is blabbing about how he would've loved them in college, team colors were red, white, blue, he was the only one that wore all-red shoes...

i can not tell you how hard it was for me to keep from blurting out "that's cool, also, you're completely colorblind."

anywayzzzzz... P! D! X!

portland part 2...

contributing to the discussion

2010-08-24T14:24:00.000-07:00

from tim

2010-08-23T13:19:00.001-07:00

"Just around the corner see you soon..."

depressing travel photos

2010-08-03T11:07:00.000-07:00

i swear, i was planning to do this before jarrett did it. anyway, i think mine are more depressing...

san diego international comic-con 2010

2010-08-02T17:24:00.001-07:00

every year we go to comic-con. every year our senses are overloaded. please enjoy this small sample of what we saw...

tokyo is the most beautiful place on earth

2010-07-27T20:17:00.001-07:00

we recommend full-screen and HD on...

floating point from Samuel Cockedey on Vimeo.

decennial

2010-07-21T10:10:00.000-07:00

last november i clocked my tenth year as an employee in creative services at Williams-Sonoma.

this past may, they held the annual service recognition breakfast(s), wherein everyone who had marked a five, ten, 15, 20 and even one 30-year anniversary was given a gift, some food and a few kind words from their manager.

afterward, we got to have a photo taken with Chuck Williams, the founder and only 94-year-old dude i know. the guy still edits cookbooks, comes to work every day and is extremely well-dressed. super rad.

this thing had a lovely carafe with fitted glass in it.

everybody loves a good buffet.

wore my good shoes.

subaru impreza hatchback review

2010-07-21T00:45:00.000-07:00

yeah, i reviewed an impreza before, but that one didn't have ALL-WHEEL DRIVE. i can't even begin to describe how much of a difference that makes. it's like going from a skateboard to an audi. and subaru knows it, 'cause they threw down for an interior that's slightly nicer than the borimpreza. the hatchback is a car i would actually request in the future... if i wasn't on some ridiculous mission to review a load of different rental cars for my stupid weblog.

also, someone remind me to bring a car adapter with an audio cable next time, all the cars have aux jacks now.

birthday

2010-07-15T21:03:00.000-07:00

a couple scenes from my 33rd ~~kegstand~~ birthday party...

ALSO: this happened.

dear ticketmaster...

2010-07-13T19:04:00.000-07:00

...tell us how you *really* feel:

independence day is...

2010-07-07T19:54:00.000-07:00

...also jon's birthday.

shot (and video edited) entirely on an iPhone 4:

this is why america will fall

2010-06-29T11:25:00.000-07:00

From: Matthew Thompson 06/25/2010 01:17 PM
To: (redacted)
CC: (redacted), (redacted)
Subject: Re: Press check timing for Affinities and Sourcebook- Baraboo

hi (redacted),
my itinerary is below and i’ve booked a room at (redacted) in baraboo, could you let me know how to get to the plant from there? my cell number is 555.555.5555, let me know if you need anything else.
thanks!
matt

(itinerary redacted)

----------------------------------------------------

From: (redacted)
Date: Tue, 29 Jun 2010 06:19:43 -0700
To: Matthew Thompson
Subject: Re: Press check timing for Affinities and Sourcebook- Baraboo

Thanks Matt. Can you send me your cell phone number. We will use this to keep you updated during your visit.

my question remains unanswered and they request information already provided: a perfect business email.

this is my desktop at work

2010-06-21T17:32:00.000-07:00

new holiday!

2010-06-15T17:01:00.000-07:00

i'm already getting excited to celebrate my new favorite holiday next year:

June 12th, National Roll a Ball Slowly at an English Person Day!

world cup is on

2010-06-11T11:30:00.000-07:00

pirate cat

2010-06-01T19:07:00.000-07:00

coco got glaucoma in his right eye and finally had to have it enucleated. i got light-headed watching him run into stuff all over the apartment, drugged-up and newly bereft of depth perception...

here's a before, for reference:

heavy rotation

2010-05-27T10:50:00.000-07:00

tickle your ear bones with some jams that are stuck on repeat on my iphone:

¡MUSICA CALIENTE!

AFX

2010-05-26T20:56:00.000-07:00

just watch/listen. i really wish i lived in france eleven days ago. or that this guy would FREAKING TOUR AMERICA.

camping in yosemite

2010-05-25T01:07:00.000-07:00

...for clarke's birthday. yay, clarke.

clickr for flickr:

spoiler alert: THE LOST ENDING WAS CRAP

2010-05-24T16:51:00.001-07:00

i can't believe i watched that show for six years or whatever. seriously? that was how it ended? with ABSOLUTELY NO EXPLANATION FOR WHAT THE ISLAND IS?

i DON'T CARE that they all found each other in an insanely tedious version of heaven. if i wanted to feel better about the fact that we're ALL GONNA DIE, i'd go read some hallmark cards at safeway.

what was that rock that was plugging up the light? who built the freaking temple and that giant statue? what magic did the lady that raised jacob and the smoke monster have? if the smoke monster was powerful enough TO DESTROY THE ENTIRE WORLD if it got off the island, how did the dharma dudes manage to build a silly fence that could trap him? why is it possible to move the ENTIRE island? how did widmore find out about the island and what did he want to do there and why did he die so stupidly?

mere words cannot express my level of disappointment. it was such a massive cop out to end on wishy-washy relationship crap, rather than try to address any of the actual mystery they built within this now-obviously flimsy mythology. and the locke vs. jack fight? puhleeeeeeze. ten seconds of almost rad fighting, ended with locke shot in the back? it was like watching the entire show in digest form: this is gonna be aweso... ooooohhhhhh, nevermind.

i wasn't left intrigued, imagining all the cool possibilities, i'm left annoyed, wishing the writers had felt even an OUNCE of accountability for the narrative and not gone all-in on character development and resolution. lame, lamer, lamest. mega lame. LOST is now the definition of anticlimactic. if you've never watched it, don't start. unless you really wanna just wallow in warm, fuzzy feelings for fictional characters after 120 episodes...

i'll give them this: using the opening shot from the first episode, in reverse, as the final shot was really powerful and it made jack's death meaningful. just about everyone else? WHHHOOOOOOOO CAAAAAAAAAARRRRES....

insanity wolf sez:

2010-05-20T08:35:00.000-07:00

guess i pushed myself down the stairs, cuz: now i'm tumblrng. perhaps you will enjoy it as an aggregation of all my online presence (excepting facebook). or perhaps you will snort derisively and continue with your life posthaste (as well you should).

mutation

2010-05-12T13:02:00.000-07:00

three years ago, i was all, like, digg.com, flash games and iChat.

nowadays, i'm all, like, google reader, ffffound.com and meebo.

yaris redux

2010-05-06T18:26:00.000-07:00

i nearly forgot to mention:

after we'd secured the rental car and as were walking up to load our bags in the glove box behind the back seats, a hertz employee in the lot walked over and said:

hertz guy: "(unintelligible) car?"

me: "huh?"

hertz guy: "why you ain't get a real car?"

me: "haha!"

hertz guy: (pointing at a mustang) "you need to get somethin' like that."

me: "hmm... i *like* golf carts."

hertz guy: (laughing and shaking head, walks away)

toyota yaris review

2010-05-03T22:11:00.000-07:00

i was just at the second best wedding ever (yes, of course, mine was the best ever), but more on that later. for now, let's REVIEW A RENTAL CAR:

i may very well still be completely high on life, but the toyota yaris was instantly one of my favorite rental cars of all time. it's small enough to park in between spaces, it turns on a dime (literally: i put a dime on the ground and turned on it), it has about 945 terribly convenient glove boxes and compartments built in to the dashboard and doors and it isn't offensive to the eye.

going against it are the obviously cheap materials and build quality (exposed, silver bolt heads in the black plastic console and loose seals between pieces) and the fact that the trunk is completely nonexistent.

but, you know what? ANDI AND JARRETT'S WEDDING WAS SO FUN MY HEAD NEARLY EXPLODED AND I GOT SOME INSANE NEW SHOES AND SOMETHING RESEMBLING A TAN! SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY THREE OUT OF FIVE STARS!

kia optima review

2010-04-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

this car was a mixed bag. when i first got in, i saw this:

shrieked like a little girl, and jumped out of the car to grab my iphone and USB cable from my bag in the trunk. i hopped back in, plugged it in and was thoroughly disappointed to see the phone's charging screen flicker on and off rapidly until the radio's screen said something about not able to recognize blah blah. major bummer.

until i realized it had a fully operational ~~death star~~ satellite radio. i tuned that puppy in to liquid metal and proceeded to enjoy every moment in the vehicle from then on.

otherwise, it handles fine, the dashboard sucks and it is aesthetically utterly unremarkable. 3 out of 5 stars.

readymade

2010-04-10T10:07:00.000-07:00

i made some art this morning. i call it "le chat blanc."

disconnected

2010-03-29T14:25:00.000-07:00

all my internetting has slowed to a crawl recently as i've actually being doing things with my hands IRL. maybe you'll see some of those things, probably you won't. for now, i give you these recent words of affirmation from my wife of eight years:

"no, you just look like a slob. i'll let you know when you look like a (expletive deleted) slob."

the north face 404 page is so metal

2010-02-12T09:42:00.000-08:00

christo lite

2010-02-10T15:36:00.000-08:00

someone is wrapping stuff and locking it up around levi's plaza:

i wonder if it's a tribute to jean-claude...

encryption

2010-02-07T14:38:00.000-08:00

i was cleaning off the top of my dresser and found the weirdest note ever. i can not, for the life of me, figure out when i wrote this or what it refers to:

seriously, why was steph fighting a boat and who on earth is brian?

rental car review

2010-02-03T09:42:00.000-08:00

SUPER RENTAL CAR LAZY LATE POST REVIEW BATTLE START!

last month's car, chevrolet HHR:

this "car" was one of the most confusing machines i've ever interfaced with. from a distance, it looks like some old timey ice cream truck kind of thing so it was a little weird to walk up and discover i'm about a foot taller than it. upon closer inspection, it looks like the hideous result of a PT cruiser copulating with a scion XB... ex pee tee bee.

once inside this blocky little minivan, you are confronted with a full-size truck steering wheel and console and pickup-truck seats. seriously, the wheel was bigger than the one in my old ford ranger, it took 45 minutes to turn the wheel enough to pull into a parking place. my mom's old '76 coupe deville had a giant steering wheel but it was to scale... i miss that big, beautiful boat.

also, the windshield was about six inches tall. honestly, who's designing these things? sacrificing visibility for a hideous "look," sounds like a great plan! one out of five stars.

this month's car, honda civic:

japan wins. this car doesn't look so stupid that i'm embarrassed to step out of it, it drives just fine and the interior didn't cause confusion and discomfort. if i had a kid in high school and they graduated with a 4.0 and saved up money to put as a down payment, i would totally buy them a civic. the only real negative: road noise was loud enough that i couldn't hear my phone on speakerphone. i'd actually request this car again, four out of five stars.

new hat

2010-02-02T20:17:00.000-08:00

i came back to the plant after dinner tonight and found something amazing hidden under my stack of OK'd sheets:

apparently one of the dudes on press has a side business...

dunkin'

2010-02-01T11:09:00.000-08:00

i reeeeeaaaaaally wish we had dunkin' donuts in the bay area. sure, the donuts are great, blah blah blah, but it's the coffee that turns my frown upside-down. i think when you order your coffee "with milk and sugar," that's secret code to "sprinkle a little crack dust on it."

i've never been so happy for a buck sixty nine...

wham

2010-01-21T12:06:00.000-08:00

i can't lay in bed with any extremities sticking out over the edge. if i do, as i fall asleep, i start to imagine giant, metal blocks falling from on high and snapping them clean off, right at the edge of the bed.

have i played way too much tetris, or what?

these are the only photos i graphed on new year's eve

2010-01-08T16:48:00.000-08:00

2010 is gonna be great!

the total frequency spectrum of electromagnetic radiation given off by the sun

2010-01-08T14:18:00.000-08:00

earlier today, while on a conference call with a consultant, said consultant mentioned it was 75 and sunny where he was. i was pretty jealous until i realized he's in scottsdale, arizona, not los angeles. then i felt smug and superior again.

fearmongering

2009-12-22T14:05:00.000-08:00

one of my coworkers was in a super bad car wreck way back before i knew her. unfortunately for her, she still has a lot of back problems and is occasionally stuck in bed for a few days with back spasms and can't turn her head and stuff like that...

she's out right now, in fact, and coincidentally another of my coworkers woke up with a very stiff neck this morning. it got worse throughout the day so she decided to go home.

while discussing her decision with our (supportive) boss, i stopped by and mentioned that i just remembered hearing that having a stiff neck was a symptom of rabies. she believed me for a second and i don't think i've ever seen eyes that big.

laugh out loud.

the pros and cons of electric blankets

2009-12-14T15:05:00.000-08:00

electric blankets are great because they make your wife happy and everybody loves a happy wife.

electric blankets suck because they make it so that both sides of the pillow are warm.

hey, guys, remember:

2009-12-09T16:09:00.000-08:00

PBS at 3AM

2009-11-20T11:55:00.000-08:00

a photo essay...

land of the rising sun

2009-11-19T15:30:00.000-08:00

finally, the My First Trip To Japan Post-Infancy post.

first off, that place is nuts. especially tokyo. take every city you've ever been to, amplify them slightly, cram them all together in about a greater-LA-sized area and get rid of 99% of the homeless people: tokyo.

we got to stay with our homeboy joji at his house out in chiba city. he was also kind enough to drive us all over tokyo and nearby environs for the whole trip, joji for president.

View Larger Map

head on over to my incredible flickr set to enjoy some shots and notes from the trip. the funny part is the first day or two were so overwhelming, we kind of forgot to take pictures... check out george's flickr for alternate views of the experience as well.

tokyo is amazing and i can't wait to go back, if you have a job opening in tokyo, hire me! nihongo wo benkyō suru totemo hayaku!

F for effort

2009-10-30T09:34:00.000-07:00

it would be awesome to be damien hirst. he gets to basically fart in the general direction of a product and the streetwear scene eats it up like crack-dusted dibs... seriously, polka dots? that get bigger? i'd love to meet the moron that buys the whole set because it's EXCLUSIVE! LIMITED! SUPREME! COLLAB!

believe me, i love most of his actual art, but this kind of crap is OBEY-level boring.

finally, hawaii

2009-10-27T14:29:00.000-07:00

jet lag from japan got me up reeeeeaaal early this morning, so i decided to kill time by posting pictures from the trip to hawaii. check it all out at flickr and preview a few of my favorites below...

in japan

2009-10-21T01:55:00.000-07:00

posting this from the back seat of my friend joji's car, using his 3G USB modem in my laptop. i also have my laptop set up as a wifi hotspot so george and steph can use their iphones... i love living in the future.

check my twitter for trip updates, it's just easier to post there.

tokyo is the most intense place i've ever been, it rrrreeeeeaaaaally helps having a friend who lives here to show us around. konbanwa, americajin!

best truck ever?

2009-10-15T10:01:00.000-07:00

yes, yes it is.

subaru impreza review

2009-10-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

RETURN OF RENTAL CAR REVIEW!!!

for a rental car, you could do worse.

sure, every. single. thing. inside is plastic BUT it's a fairly nice grade of plastic, not completely offensive to the touch. the engine, sans turbo, still had enough guts that i didn't feel like an idiot trying to merge on to the freeway. the design of the body and interior are super boring. so boring that i didn't even notice it had a sunroof until i was buying gas on the way to return it. i don't really have anything else to say, it was neither awesome nor crap enough to incite florid witticisms.

in summary, all you can ever hope for in a rental car: 3 out of 5 stars.

sky mall

2009-10-13T22:14:00.000-07:00

something fishy...

2009-10-12T11:43:00.000-07:00

walked in to the susquehanna club in MDT, fox news on the tv and they're reporting about iWatch: a program in LA that recommends if you notice something out of place in your daily routine, report it as it may be terror-related. well, this was waaaaaay out of place for me...

for goodness' sake, click on the photos and go to my flickr, i can't stand how much compression blogger is doing to these images...

janitor art

2009-10-10T05:59:00.000-07:00

undercover

2009-08-13T10:39:00.000-07:00

as i was heading out to grab a coffee this morning, i ran into one of the mail room guys:

Mail Room Guy: hey, matt, i got a package for you, want me to leave it at your desk?

me: oh, yeah, that'd be awesome, thanks!

MRG: cool, i'll drop it off.

me: sweet, thanks. (i turn to head out the door.)

MRG: hey, matt, one of my coworkers, he thinks you're (indistinguishable).

me: (walking back) huh?

MRG: he thinks you're a cop!

me: what?!

MRG: yeah, he sees you walkin' in the alley and he says "that guy's a cop."

me: no way! that's so funny!

MRG: yeah, he say "that guy dress like a cop..." he think you're police.

me: (laughing) oh man, that's awesome! well, tell him i AM a cop and i got my eye on him...

MRG: (laughing) ok!

go home, becks

2009-08-02T23:48:00.001-07:00

i can't tell you how happy it makes me that the galaxy (may they forever lose to the quakes) fans are consistently booing david beckham since his return from europe. no matter what he says in the media, it was a wholly self-serving decision to play for milan and a huge "F you" to the LA fans. it's about time american soccer fans stood up for themselves and demanded some level of quality from the clubs and players they support.

bug flight patterns

2009-08-01T09:58:00.000-07:00

flight patterns from Charlie McCarthy on Vimeo.

via designboom

comic review

2009-07-28T23:30:00.001-07:00

top 10 vol. 1

writing:
it's written by alan moore. for the unitiated, this means that any random page torn from the book is better-written than the entirety of the twilight series.

art:
outstanding. i think this is my first exposure to gene ha and i really dig his style. he throws in great details, like a tiny, fat, bikini-clad woman amidst the throng running in terror from a giant, drunk monster named gograh who is wearing a "no fat chicks" t-shirt.

conclusion:
buy it. unless you are an idiot, lack a sense of humor or are afraid of ultramice.

found it!

2009-07-27T22:22:00.000-07:00

totally biting jarrett's style: what search terms were people using when they found my weblog in the last ten days?

mazda 5 review
dumb safety
party people is the place to be
corporate town hall q&a
gentleman's latte
mazda 5 dumb
mazda 5 rentals
rent mazda 5
mazda 5 review
jarrett reynolds nike
party people and the place to be
(blank search field but came from google, stealth AT&T bot?)
party people in the place to be zack miri
beware the birchmen

i don't think i'll ever be allowed to set foot in a mazda dealership...

still hate AT&T?

2009-07-26T20:17:00.000-07:00

...me too!

hate AT&T?

2009-07-19T11:23:00.000-07:00

...you're not alone. that a company that large, when gifted with the best-selling mobile phone in history by their competition, can turn around and completely fail to support it and then continually commit customer-service suicide is unfathomable.

this techcrunch post hits every point of frustration for iphone owners (and, thanks to the halo effect, every other smartphone owner on their network) perfectly. i can attest to their many failures as there is a one-block dead zone outside my office in san francisco and i just did a complete restore on stephanie's iphone because she was only receiving texts and voicemails intermittently. it would have been nice if at&t had sent out some sort of notification that, in fact, their VM system was crapping out. no, wait... it would have been the MINIMUM LEVEL OF SERVICE EXPECTED. read the post, compare it to your own experience on AT&T and seriously consider this:

The iPhone will eventually be on Verizon, on Apple’s terms. It’s just a question of when.

If that’s by the end of next year, many of us will be happy campers. I don’t care what I have to pay to break an AT&T contract, I will do so in a heartbeat.

amen.

always be prepared

2009-07-15T17:35:00.000-07:00

my biggest frustration with having a broken toe (or any other injury) comes from the negative impact it has on my ability to respond in a fight-or-flight situation. on a normal day, i am constantly judging my situation for vulnerability, defensibility and escapability in case of unforeseen danger. y'know, stuff like someone losing control of their vehicle nearby. or someone having a psychotic episode and deciding to make use of that 8" chef's knife in their bag. or terrorists launching a coordinated attack on the building i'm passing. or the violent genesis of the inevitable robot uprising. or the invasion of earth by extra-terrestrials. or armageddon...

seriously, i totally think like this on my way to work and stuff, but i digress. the point is, it's way harder to attack an opponent or flee nuclear death raining down from on high when you're stuck limping around. this frame of mind also informs my manner of dress: backpacks, rather than shoulder bags, because they're more stable while running and can't be ripped off my person as easily; shoes that i can immediately start running in; just the basics in my pockets so i won't be weighed-down. i'm always shocked at the sight of people carrying a ton of useless crap that they'll obviously have to ditch when the zombie apocalypse begins.

this, of course, brings us to flip-flops. what on earth goes through your head while you're making the decision to wear those stupid things? "it sure is sunny today, i'd better put on some footwear that will assault the visual and olfactory senses of everyone around me, insure i couldn't run away from a slow loris on valium and drastically increase my chances of getting huge, infected cuts on my feet and/or broken toes!" perfect. me? i'm gonna put on my nikes and leave you and your tanned feet in the dust when the ninjas start jumping out of the trees...

how to celebrate jonathan lawrence whitmire's birthday

2009-07-11T19:04:00.000-07:00

just in case you missed the tweets or facebook posts, there's a video recap of jon whitmire's birthday shenanigans in the bay area over at my mobileme gallery (not embedded here because mobileme doesn't allow that, flickr won't take files that big, youtube is all scared of copyright infringement and i'm waaaaaay too lazy to set up a real blog on my own site with real hosting). it was shot entirely on iPhones 3GS, many thanks to melina juarez for sharing her footage.

this movie is rated PG-13 for tattoos, language, alcohol consumption and comic violence.

UPDATE: now available with less tattoo footage, thanks to viewer feedback.

fastest wedding ever?

2009-07-11T09:21:00.000-07:00

the 4th of july weekend was mental. tattoos, a birthday AND a wedding. bill and whitney got married under the crocker crypt at the mountain view cemetery in oakland. their buddy mark, ordained by the church of the latter-day dude, opened with some lovely words and then guided the happy couple through a one minute vow exchange. we drank prosecco, popped party poppers and wrapped things up hastily when security started poking around. definitely the least traditional and one of the sweetest weddings i've ever been to...

the groom

via leigh's flickr

gundam, go!

2009-07-09T15:27:00.001-07:00

whoops

2009-07-08T12:09:00.000-07:00

this morning i had the bizarre experience of jumping out of bed to turn off the alarm and promptly falling flat on my face. apparently, my left leg was still "asleep" and not responding to commands from my brain.

it was, however, dutifully sending pain signals TO my brain, all of which were originating in my little toe. i had hoped that it was simply sprained but it is now huge and purple - the hallmarks of a broken toe. moral of the story? take your time getting out of bed...

like my foot wasn't gross enough to begin with...

inked

2009-07-06T15:43:00.000-07:00

i learned two things this weekend:

1: it is customary to tip your tattoo artist.

2: getting sweat on a fresh tattoo hurts.

jon, george and i had talked about getting tattoos of futura 2000's gear designs way back in college. that idea, like many hatched in college, fell by the wayside as "life" continued. recently, jon had revived the subject with george and george mentioned as much to me. i enthusiastically expressed my support for the endeavor and we concocted a plan to surprise jon while visiting for his birthday on the 4th of july. of course, the design had to be agreed upon first, so george developed a clever ruse involving us planning to have it done in san diego during comic-con later this month.

the ruse worked, jon was surprised and we all made permanent changes to our impermanent bodies.

fail

2009-06-29T20:52:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: in fairness to apple and at&t, i think i can pin the failed-sync blame squarely on nikeplus.com, as they are in the middle of rolling out an updated website and service. the feature set is more compelling and the design is far better, so i'll take a couple lost miles in the name of progress.

UPDATE 2: well, it appears apple and nike may be culpable after all. my latest (and longest with the 3GS) run just failed to upload to nikeplus.com AND THEN somehow managed to disappear out of the history list on my iphone... of course, angry emails have been sent and snarky forum posts have been made, but they need to fix this fast. why on earth can't a device as advanced as the latest iphone pull off a feat that is constantly accomplished by my three-year-old ipod nano? and if i'm FORCED to pay for UNLIMITED DATA by at&t, why can't i upload my run history directly from the phone? ridiculous...

memories...

2009-06-28T19:34:00.000-07:00

back in 1999, when i began my employment at the venerable Williams-Sonoma, Inc., all catalog photography was shot on large and medium format film. 'round about 2001, we started the transition to digital photography. a day's shoot would be delivered to us as a big ol' stack of iomega zip disks.

zips held a whopping ONE HUNDRED MEGABYTES for about ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS. they were a big deal because they were SO SMALL (about 3.5" square). in college, we had just started using 150MB bernoulli disks (also about $100) for digital projects but they were HUGE in comparison (about 5" square). here's a 100MB bernoulli drive next to my old 16 GIGABYTE iphone:

oh, by the way, the iphone makes calls and surfs the web and plays movies and stuff. hilarious. since 2001, we've gotten photo in on a bunch of different kinds of storage media/devices: CDs, DVDs, portable hard drives... but last week we got a batch on something new, a USB thumb drive. not just any thumb drive, a TWO GIGABYTE MICRO VAULT TINY!

it holds as much data as 20 zip disks, is small enough to swallow, costs about $20 and comes with a cute sleeve you can clip to your shirt or cell phone or something:

i can't wait 'til the photographer just IMs the photo straight to my cell phone. which will be embedded in my eyeglasses. eyephone. ha.

i can relate

2009-06-28T09:46:00.000-07:00

via flickr.

news that the king (of pop) is dead...

2009-06-25T16:04:00.001-07:00

...with a timely non sequitur from barack obama:

colour control

2009-06-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

ever take a pic with your iphone and think "that looks crap, sure wish i could adjust the gamma and tweak the red gain.."? if so, head on over to itunes and get yourself a free copy of mill colour.

my buddy jeremiah tipped me off to it. it's free, it's easy to use and it does stuff like this:

BEFORE

AFTER

pool party!

2009-06-14T18:15:00.000-07:00

our buddy jeff's parents are in costa rica, so he had a bunch of friends over for a BBQ and pool party. we played horseshoes, swam and jeff smoked some ribs and barbecued hot links, chicken and steaks: outstanding!

more photos here.

more videos here.

office kitchen

2009-06-11T14:26:00.000-07:00

THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR. DOES IT MAKE YOU WANT TO LAUGH OR CRY?!

i LOLed...

anecdote

2009-06-09T10:59:00.001-07:00

sometimes, the gayest dude in the office is talking to someone else near your cubicle and he says "big, black cop," but you're forgiven if you totally thought you heard something else...

wear a helmet

2009-05-30T12:30:00.000-07:00

...it happened on a friday. friday, may 29th, 2009, to be precise. i know this because it was several hours after my bike accident had occurred before i was able to answer the question "what day is it?" correctly...

cycling back to my office from a meeting in another of the company's buildings, the last thing i remember is a family unit of, what i assume to be, given the proximity to fisherman's wharf, tourists deciding to cross the street against a red light as i approached the intersection at a fair clip. i swerved, i blacked-out.

i vaguely remember spitting out blood at some point and i have faint auditory memories of being in an ambulance. i have no recollection but there is a voicemail to prove that i called stephanie to let her know i was en route to san francisco general hospital. apparently, i also managed to convince the paramedics to call my boss.

i sort of remember being rolled into the hospital and answering "yeah, ok" to a paramedic whose question remains completely unknown and whose face is very blurry...

i kind of remember someone asking "do you know where you are?"
"uuuuuhh... san francisco?" came my unsteady reply.
"good enough!" was their confirmation...

i started to realize i had a neck brace on and was strapped to a board as several people began undressing me. "please don't cut this shirt, it's really expensive!" i cried, not realizing i had already splattered it with blood and scraped a hole in the back...

i definitely remember lights in my eyes and being told to follow them while answering who the president of the united states is. "barack obama," i said, immediately. "woo!" said someone out of my field of view...

stephanie begins to melt into the memories at this point, but i'm pretty sure the timeline is still jumbled. i remember being rolled on my side for a spine exam, gripping someone's hands, telling them what hurts, having to push their hands away and having to hold my arms up with my eyes closed...

someone asked me (for the fifth or sixth time) what day it was and i struggled. "it's friday... it's not june, right? so, it's may, like, may 25th?" "pretty close," said my interrogator. "he couldn't answer that right on a normal day," said stephanie...

i refused the offer of pain and nausea medication once, but gladly accepted the offer an hour or so later. morphine is fantastic stuff...

the morphine and chemotherapy-grade nausea medicine went a long way towards stabilizing my mental state. having stephanie there helped anchor memories and establish some context for everything that was happening. my wrist was x-rayed (negative), my lip was stitched (once), cuts above and below my eye were dermabonded (glued) and then it was all about waiting a few more hours for a cat scan ("should be ready in ten minutes..."). i asked the doctor if i could have my x-ray film and she offered a digital copy for $10 that would also include the cat scan. i guess i was a pretty good patient, 'cause they hooked me up with the scans for free!

anyway, i walked away from a pretty bad wreck with some cuts, some scrapes, some bruises, a stitch, a sprained wrist and a mild concussion. considering i wasn't wearing a helmet at the time, i have no complaints... except one: the witnesses claimed i swerved to "dodge a car or something..." i can't remember a lot, but i'm pretty dang sure i remember swerving around people...

check out the gory details on flickr:

soundtrack to the summer

2009-05-26T21:49:00.001-07:00

man, this blog is a ton of fail. right after i start reviewing rental cars, they cut out 3/4 of the travel i had planned for the rest of the year, HA! maybe something else "interesting" will "happen" in my "life" soon, but until then, enjoy Two Weeks, by Grizzly Bear. the official soundtrack to my summer:

click through to the HD, if your computer can hang... and buy the record, it's fantastic... don't buy the record, steph, i already did.

mazda 5 review

2009-04-22T06:18:00.000-07:00

hello, and welcome to the first installment of a new feature here at THIS IS SO DUMB: rental car review!

when i was picking up my car from the friendly folks at the hertz counter in MDT, the clerk asked "right now you're in a mazda 5, is that OK?" i did not heed that subtle warning and answered "sure" without a second thought. CRITICAL ERROR. i had no idea the 5 was a freaking minivan. not just that, but a mini minivan. it's like a squished-up little minivan that could fit inside a real minivan if you pulled out the back seat.

everything about it felt plastic and cheesy, even the tires. i spun out, like, 28 times accelerating from a stop and the traction control only kicked in one time. it felt like i could knock it on its side with a buddy and one good shove. the way-back seats were so far back my backpack barely fit in the "trunk." i think the mustang i had a couple months ago was more fuel-efficient, this thing somehow managed to burn through a quarter tank of gas in a little over 36 hours.

bottom line: the mazda 5 feels crappy to drive, it looks dumb, it's insane to layout a car that freaking small like a van, i felt like a dork driving it and other people looked at me like "what a dork" when i was in it.

-2 out of 5 stars.

pixação

2009-04-09T23:03:00.000-07:00

80s metal bands and viking runes as inspiration? i think it's time to move to brasil and become a pixador...

sea ranch

2009-04-04T21:47:00.000-07:00

we weren't there long enough and i was way too tired to get any great shots but here they are, for your consideration:

flickr